Parents : Keep Reality Before Your Children (Part I)

As our family was finishing up our family worship time this evening - what we call "Snuggle Time" in the Tillman home - we encountered a resistant-to-say-the-least heart from our eldest daughter as we tried to sing.  While sparing you the specifics of our interaction with this precious daughter, I'd like to suggest some perspective in an area that I perceive as lacking in the parenting of children in evangelical homes in the year 2011.  It has to do with keeping reality in front of our children.
While the concept may sound obvious, the cultural influence here is such that we have a very tough time escaping a constant pressure to view life through a certain set of lenses that filter circumstances in some very selfish terms that don't accord with both the truth of experience and the truth of God's Word.  And because we can't escape it - for we who belong to Christ are set apart to declare the excellencies of God in and to the crooked and depraved generation from which we were taken, in word, deed, example, shining as bright lights to the glory of God - we have to approach the influence of our culture in a responsible way, with discernment and a view for how the glory of God may be had in our engagement by and engagement of the culture around us.  To this point, I heartily recommend a book, which I recently read, by Kenneth Myers, entitled All God's Children and Blue Suede Shoes.  The book is particularly helpful in developing a more discerning view of popular culture and I'd highly recommend it for further reading and thought-provocation at this point.
To return, however, to the issue of keeping "reality" before our kids, I'd like to propose two basic points for consideration - but points that I hope provide you with some gear-turning oil in discussing this topic with your spouse as you seek to grow in honoring God with your parenting.  The "bad news" is covered here tonight.  Lord willing, some thoughts on the "How can I help my child see the world rightly?" front will be coming tomorrow. 

1. What prevents a right view of the world from being had by my children?

There really are two primary factors in play here - the first is something you are powerless to do anything about; the second is something you are very much able to and responsible for as a shepherd of your little ones.  The most significant factor - and the one you can't personally change - is the sin that holds your children as slaves.  The enslavement to sin is, most obviously, the case of our unbelieving children.  If your children have been granted the gift of faith in the Savior, their relationship to sin as a slavemaster has been broken and your shepherding certainly takes on a different dynamic here.  Nevertheless, it is sin - the miserable, ruining slavemaster of sin - that prevents your child from seeing the world rightly.  And while we're called to labor and pray for the salvation of our children, salvation belongs to God.
The second factor here, however, is the one that concerns me the most - and it is the most insidious factor, which preys on the first: the trivializing of reality through undiscerning - even if well-intended - efforts to entertain our children.  As I was discussing my daughter's disobedience with my wife, I started thinking about how different a view of life children in our culture are set up to perceive than those in previous ages  (and yes, I did reference the Puritans, whom I value a great deal) must have had.  In the place of the responsibilities of belonging to a family and the priorities of care, service, teaching, and leadership that existed out of necessity and conviction, we have the luxury of access to any number of things that can hold the attention of our children.  Yet because God has designed us as learners - and those early years are so crucial - our children absorb much more than just the content set before them.  Our children are still growing and don't have the kind of capabilities to process reality and discern matters biblically in order to see anything more than something they either like or don't like.  They are, as most of us were, conditioned through cultural offerings (unintentionally, for the most part) to expect certain things out of reality: fun, humor, autonomy, immediate receipt of entertainment, all wrapped up in a half hour.  While most Christian parents wouldn't let sleazy content into their homes, most of us will allow things into our home that still condition our children to expect things to function a certain way.  When was the last time a cartoon encouraged biblical submission to parents and authority?  Modeled godliness in the home?  Displayed a daddy loving momma as Christ loves His Church?  Encouraged a persevering attitude toward life that encounters sure hardships with hope in the Triune God and His goodness?  Directed them to consider how they might glorify God with their use of time?  The list could certainly continue and I am sure the point is made.
The call here is not necessarily to retreat from PBS Kids or Winnie the Pooh - a good deal of these programs might actually have helpful content.  The call is, however, to take stock, as parents, of how we may be inadvertently working against the tone we so earnestly desire to set in our homes by letting our guard down in discerning the appropriate exposure and instruction relating to these matters.  I think the topic is well worth our consideration and discussion, particularly because we live in a culture that is so intent on pressing us into its own mold.  We won't hit it perfectly, but we ought to at least strive to grow in parenting to the glory of God, rather than settle for what might be easy (at least for the short term).  Again, the call here is for discernment - how might my child be affected, adversely, by an implied and cultivated view of reality contrary to what we long for and pray for as parents to see instilled?
Lord willing, tomorrow we'll have occasion to consider how we might keep reality before our children - in other words, how we can serve them as we seek their transformation by the renewal of their minds, that they might learn biblical discernment and process reality as it is, according to God's Word.