Bad Backs, Broken Pots, and the Resurrection

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."   
(2 Corinthians 4:16-18 ESV)

On Thursday, I threw out my back.  I've thought that I've dealt with back pain before, but I'm now able to understand those who are out of commission because they've really thrown out their back.  It has been one of the most miserable experiences of physical discomfort I've had, in part because I'm prone to worrying over things I can't grasp and in part because the treatment for it has been to essentially immobilize myself while my body heals up from whatever it is that was irked the wrong way.  It's been uncomfortable, painful, and humiliating.

The humiliation of it has been, perhaps, one of the more difficult aspects of this for me to deal with.  At just about 30 years of age, I was unable to help my wife get our apartment moved out of and our things into a new place.  Instead, God very graciously provided for a handful of people - most of whom are over the age of 50 - to do what I was unable to do.  In the midst of dealing with this, then, I've had to consider how God's good purposes are being worked out and how God would make me more holy through this experience.  And seeing as lying down and walking around a bit are all I've had occasion to do the past day or so, here are some initial reflections:

• Whether I like to acknowledge it or not, my body bears the consequences of sin.  This is a truth that is easy for me to acknowledge about the world around me, but something I insulate myself from concerning my own body.  When my little girl asks me why someone is sick or hurt, the response she hears from her daddy is "Because of sin in the world."  And that's the right answer.  But it's harder for me to swallow that pill as the answer for "Why?" when something discouraging affects me.  I'm quick to think that I shouldn't have to deal with this or that it could have been avoided if I just wouldn't have done this or that.  Yet the trouble that accompanies the lives of God's people living in a fallen world isn't just persecution or opposition from the devil.  It's not less than that, but it includes other things too.  It includes bodies that don't work the way they should.  And God does not exempt His people from dealing with those maladies.  What He does do, however, is sanctify them to us, and use them to grow us in holiness.  When an unbeliever deals with the hardship of physical discomfort, their hope is set on getting better.  When a Christian deals with the same hardship, we have much higher sights to set our hope on - beyond getting better, our hope is in the God of all comfort, who made our bodies, and who has promised us that we will one day have bodies perfected for eternal communion with Him.  Which leads to the second reflection...
• The older I get, the more potent the hope of the resurrection is and has to be for me.  In a culture obsessed with youth and its perceived invincibility, nothing seems more irrelevant than the hope of the resurrection.  It's a nice prospect, meaning little more than that the life we live now can somehow extend through all the ages.  But the hope of the resurrection means that the lives we live now have a taste of the goodness of the Kingdom that will be consummated.  Eternal life for an unbeliever is already at its peak - preserving the thrills of age 23 forever.  But for the Christian, our sense of expectancy is heightened as the disappointments and discouragements and tolls of life add up.  What will it be for us not to be distracted from the worship of the thrice-holy God by a bad back?!  What will it be to not have a single anxiety burden us as we seek the enjoyment and glorification of God?  These things take a more prominent place as we are forced to consider them when tasting the bitter herbs of life in a fallen world.  But the sweetest taste belongs to the future, where we who believe have a certain inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading.
• My life is not essential to the purposes of God - but it pleases God to use me.  My inability to help my family did not ultimately compromise the ability of my family to get things taken care of.  It changed our plans, but it didn't stop them.  And in a way, it's an humiliation that's intended for thanksgiving and a right orientation to God's design for us.  It is very much the case that not a single one of us is the hinge upon which the purposes of God will succeed or fail.  Yet just because we aren't a hinge of failure or success, doesn't mean that God is not pleased to involve us in His purposes.  And here is where our self-regard can take a serious adjustment for the better, biblically speaking.  Seeing yourself as non-essential (because God is, alone, perfectly essential and sufficient) is humiliating.  But knowing that you, a non-essential, created being, have a place in spite of the fact that you aren't essential, should direct you to thanksgiving that God should be pleased to work His purposes in and through such a small being.  And it turns Kingdom service from self-motivated picking and choosing, to thankful, glad-hearted involvement in God's work.  The jar of clay that holds a treasure is not essential to the treasure, but the fact that the treasure's owner would choose to display his treasure in it makes all the difference.

Book Review : Readings in the History of Christian Theology, Volumes 1 & 2

If one is looking to access a broad swath of thought and theology over the course of church history, Dr. William Placher's two-volume Readings in the History of Christian Theology may well fit the bill.           
For a two-volume survey of thought over the past two millennia, Placher keeps the work very trim - each volume weighs in at just around 200 pages.  Volume One opens with material contemporary with the very early church, (Gnosticism, etc.) and concludes with content gathered from the late Middle Ages.  Volume Two begins with Reformation writings and concludes with twentieth century theologies of liberation (feminism, race).  While each book touches briefly on significant points of contact with the various authors and thinkers it seeks to represent, Placher does a fairly reasonable job of representing each movement/author with representative excepts.  Further, Placher provides some context to introduce the authors presented, in case the reader is not familiar with the author or vein of thought.
Dr. Placher's personal theological convictions are well-tempered, for the most part, throughout the works.  Some introductions to thinkers seem tilted one way or another; e.g., calling Rudolf Bultmann the "greatest New Testament scholar of his generation."  While these assessments are debatable, Placher's comments are relatively constrained by a desire to simply present the thinker, the bulk of the material being select excerpts.
While some material may be a reach (particularly the concluding bizarre theologies of liberation and culture), the selection is appropriate for an ecumenical survey.  I would certainly disagree greatly with a number of those included by Placher, yet it is important for the serious student of theology and church history to have a rudimentary understanding of those who have figured into the making and marring of theological culture.
If desiring a broad (and again, ecumenical) survey of thought in the history of the church, Dr. Placher's work is certainly worth a glance, both in terms of scope and the relatively low page count it takes up in the process.
I received both volumes from the publisher, Westminister John Knox, as complimentary review copies without expectation of a positive review.

Parents : Keep Reality Before Your Children (Part I)

As our family was finishing up our family worship time this evening - what we call "Snuggle Time" in the Tillman home - we encountered a resistant-to-say-the-least heart from our eldest daughter as we tried to sing.  While sparing you the specifics of our interaction with this precious daughter, I'd like to suggest some perspective in an area that I perceive as lacking in the parenting of children in evangelical homes in the year 2011.  It has to do with keeping reality in front of our children.
While the concept may sound obvious, the cultural influence here is such that we have a very tough time escaping a constant pressure to view life through a certain set of lenses that filter circumstances in some very selfish terms that don't accord with both the truth of experience and the truth of God's Word.  And because we can't escape it - for we who belong to Christ are set apart to declare the excellencies of God in and to the crooked and depraved generation from which we were taken, in word, deed, example, shining as bright lights to the glory of God - we have to approach the influence of our culture in a responsible way, with discernment and a view for how the glory of God may be had in our engagement by and engagement of the culture around us.  To this point, I heartily recommend a book, which I recently read, by Kenneth Myers, entitled All God's Children and Blue Suede Shoes.  The book is particularly helpful in developing a more discerning view of popular culture and I'd highly recommend it for further reading and thought-provocation at this point.
To return, however, to the issue of keeping "reality" before our kids, I'd like to propose two basic points for consideration - but points that I hope provide you with some gear-turning oil in discussing this topic with your spouse as you seek to grow in honoring God with your parenting.  The "bad news" is covered here tonight.  Lord willing, some thoughts on the "How can I help my child see the world rightly?" front will be coming tomorrow. 

1. What prevents a right view of the world from being had by my children?

There really are two primary factors in play here - the first is something you are powerless to do anything about; the second is something you are very much able to and responsible for as a shepherd of your little ones.  The most significant factor - and the one you can't personally change - is the sin that holds your children as slaves.  The enslavement to sin is, most obviously, the case of our unbelieving children.  If your children have been granted the gift of faith in the Savior, their relationship to sin as a slavemaster has been broken and your shepherding certainly takes on a different dynamic here.  Nevertheless, it is sin - the miserable, ruining slavemaster of sin - that prevents your child from seeing the world rightly.  And while we're called to labor and pray for the salvation of our children, salvation belongs to God.
The second factor here, however, is the one that concerns me the most - and it is the most insidious factor, which preys on the first: the trivializing of reality through undiscerning - even if well-intended - efforts to entertain our children.  As I was discussing my daughter's disobedience with my wife, I started thinking about how different a view of life children in our culture are set up to perceive than those in previous ages  (and yes, I did reference the Puritans, whom I value a great deal) must have had.  In the place of the responsibilities of belonging to a family and the priorities of care, service, teaching, and leadership that existed out of necessity and conviction, we have the luxury of access to any number of things that can hold the attention of our children.  Yet because God has designed us as learners - and those early years are so crucial - our children absorb much more than just the content set before them.  Our children are still growing and don't have the kind of capabilities to process reality and discern matters biblically in order to see anything more than something they either like or don't like.  They are, as most of us were, conditioned through cultural offerings (unintentionally, for the most part) to expect certain things out of reality: fun, humor, autonomy, immediate receipt of entertainment, all wrapped up in a half hour.  While most Christian parents wouldn't let sleazy content into their homes, most of us will allow things into our home that still condition our children to expect things to function a certain way.  When was the last time a cartoon encouraged biblical submission to parents and authority?  Modeled godliness in the home?  Displayed a daddy loving momma as Christ loves His Church?  Encouraged a persevering attitude toward life that encounters sure hardships with hope in the Triune God and His goodness?  Directed them to consider how they might glorify God with their use of time?  The list could certainly continue and I am sure the point is made.
The call here is not necessarily to retreat from PBS Kids or Winnie the Pooh - a good deal of these programs might actually have helpful content.  The call is, however, to take stock, as parents, of how we may be inadvertently working against the tone we so earnestly desire to set in our homes by letting our guard down in discerning the appropriate exposure and instruction relating to these matters.  I think the topic is well worth our consideration and discussion, particularly because we live in a culture that is so intent on pressing us into its own mold.  We won't hit it perfectly, but we ought to at least strive to grow in parenting to the glory of God, rather than settle for what might be easy (at least for the short term).  Again, the call here is for discernment - how might my child be affected, adversely, by an implied and cultivated view of reality contrary to what we long for and pray for as parents to see instilled?
Lord willing, tomorrow we'll have occasion to consider how we might keep reality before our children - in other words, how we can serve them as we seek their transformation by the renewal of their minds, that they might learn biblical discernment and process reality as it is, according to God's Word.

The Seminary of Suffering : Jars of Clay

Happy opening day of the baseball season - I'm enjoying the opportunity to watch the Brewers play the Reds this afternoon.  Along with melting snow, the opening day of baseball signals the end of winter.  And for some of us (particularly those of us in the northern reaches of the country), winter can be and seem very, very long.  So, praise God - for opening day and the sureness of the seasons changing.

If you haven't already seen the introductory remarks regarding the "Seminary of Suffering" series, please click here for some context on my hope and design for these postings.  Today's posting pertains to a term that Paul uses in 2 Corinthians, a book which has a great deal to say about the nature of the pastor/missionary as one set apart for peculiar kinds and seasons of suffering.  Here's the broader passage, from 2 Corinthians 4, of Paul - and pastor and Christian in general - as a "jar of clay."

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.  For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.  So death is at work in us, but life in you." -2 Cor. 4:7-12 (ESV)

There's a great deal of territory to cover in this broader passage - but context being the great help it is, is here presented for our benefit to see just how clay-like we really are.  So I offer my remarks below on what it is to be a jar of clay:

• At the heart of the matter is an issue of identity.  The primary identity of any true pastor is his status as a Christian, a saint, a justified sinner redeemed by the blood of the Good Shepherd Himself.  This is the over-riding identity of any true pastor.  Yet just as we may have different roles that warrant different titles throughout the course of life - daddy, husband, employee, etc. - so also, pastors and missionaries have different identity "angles" from which to approach a right understanding of what a pastor really is.  Here, we find a key term that - pun intended - holds a good deal of substance in the pastor as a jar of clay.  In an age - like many other - where pastors are groomed as CEOs, self-starting entrepreneurs, self-help experts, and the like, there is very little room for a pastor to know himself to be weak and non-proclaimable.  I say "non-proclaimable" because Paul makes mention of the fact, in verse 5, that what he and his co-laborers were concerned with doing was not proclaiming themselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord.  Jesus is the Treasure and we are the clay pot.  Why would we want to proclaim ourselves as the ultimate answer for a church?  Why would even the most fruitful and gifted of men, as Paul himself was, want to deny a church of the Treasure that is Jesus Christ, the treasure of the Gospel, the great goal of the very glory of God Himself - all in order to extol a frail pot of clay?  We do not like to think of ourselves as weak and frail.  Yet this is exactly what we are.  We are jars of clay, with imperfect and fading bodies, hearts that fluctuate in affection between the things of this world and the things of God, and souls that must endure the presence of indwelling sin until we reach glory.  It is hard to think of a better term to use than "jar of clay" to describe man viewed from this perspective.
• The jar of clay picture not only highlights the finiteness and frailty of the pastor, but it also designates the pastor as one who carries about a treasure that far overshadows the vessel in which it is carried.  The clay pot would have been a very typical vessel in the first century world in which Paul lived.  It would have been used to store food, drink, etc.  It was average.  It was domestic.  But what is so amazing is that the pastor, being a jar of clay, would be entrusted with so valuable a treasure to carry and set before men.  Just as one purchases a packaged item for the item itself and not the vessel it's delivered in, so also the pastor, as a jar of clay, displays to this world that there is only one to worship, the glorious Trinity.  Frail and finite as we are, we proclaim a great God, His great Gospel, by His great grace, for His great glory.  But the greatness belongs to God.  And not to us.  And I suggest that our self-identification as jars of clay will help put to flight the perils of self-importance, in order that we might be concerned with pursuing the purposes of God in the great vocation He has called us to in the service of the church.

I offer you these reflections knowing that there is much more that could be said about the identity of the pastor as a jar of clay.  Please feel free to offer your thoughts as you care to.  Be looking for some more out of 2 Cor. 4 later on this week.

Additionally, Stephen Altrogge posted a great pump-primer on the issue of anxiety and depression in the life of the church.  As a man who struggles with anxiety (part of my clay-ness), I found it to be very helpful and worthwhile.  It's entitled Talking Freely About Depression and Anxiety.

To God Alone Be the Glory,
-Chris

The Seminary of Suffering

One aspect of blogging that is very helpful is the large audience that can be served with relatively little investment.  Accordingly, one hope of mine is to serve the saints well with series of posts like those introduced today.

The topic of my MA thesis will focus on the role of suffering in the preparation and life of the pastor.  I find that this topic, while treated in varying contexts, lacks as exclusive a presentation- at least in contemporary publishing - as it might warrant.  Much is made of the intellectual and practical training of pastors (and rightly so).  Yet the seminary of providence, which spans one end of life in this world to the other, continues to issue courses for the holiness and sharpening of pastors, with the department of suffering and hardship offering many courses.  The theme of suffering in the lives of those men set apart for service to the people of God runs from Genesis to Revelation and throughout the history of the church.  Consider: Joseph, Moses, David, Elijah, the Apostles, and the earthly ministry of the Man of Sorrows, the Lord Jesus Christ, Himself?  What of Athanasius, Tyndale, Calvin, Bunyan, Edwards, Brainerd, and Spurgeon?  And who can deny the experience of so many men around the world who have found their service to the saints colored by grief, hardship, persecution, and suffering?  And finally, there is a biblical paradigm well-established, not only abstracted from narrative experience, but explicitly stated in such passages as 2 Tim. 2:10, Col. 1:24-25, and a relatively good portion of 2 Corinthians.

There is ample testimony to be considered - and I would suggest to you that it is a testimony that will serve much good in its consideration, accompanied with an earnest trust that God is pleased for good and wise purposes to direct the steps of His servants in such a manner.  It is this testimony - and these good purposes, inasmuch as they can be presently understood - that I hope to share with you.  (As an aside, much of what is related in these postings is also applicable to all Christians, as it has been granted to the whole company of the saints, "that for the sake of Christ [they] should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake.") 

I don't have a particular "timetable" laid out for this, a particular number of postings to be had regarding the topic, etc.  It is broad enough to warrant much more and so specific to individual lives to warrant treatment of more than should be covered in this context.  However, I do sincerely hope that what is presented would provoke thankfulness for the wise and gracious purposes of God, serve in building a healthier theology of suffering, provide context with which to assist you in understanding what you have endured, what you are enduring, or what you will most certainly endure, and to develop a camaraderie among men who have suffered - in many different ways - for the same servant cause.  So please, if you are a pastor, a missionary, the wife of a pastor or missionary, a seminary student, considering God's call to vocational ministry, would like help in processing hardship in the course of the Christian life, or are simply interested in considering these things, I hope that you will be well-served here.  Further, if you have any questions about these matters or would like a particular topic treated, please feel free to comment or send an e-mail.

While these postings will not be the central focus of this blog, as there are other things to blog about besides this one issue, I trust this will be a fruitful series of postings.  Please check back in the next day or two to find the first post which will, Lord willing, address coming to terms with being a "jar of clay."

To God Alone Be the Glory,
-Chris

Welcome

Welcome to the web-home of Christopher Tillman - Christian, Husband, Father, Pastor, and Jar of Clay. The name of this blog is "Guarding the Good Deposit," which comes from Paul's exhortation to Timothy to, by the Holy Spirit, "guard the good deposit" entrusted to him.

To provide you with some context for who it is that lives behind the posts that you'll find here - I currently live in central Wisconsin with my lovely wife and our two daughters. I am, by vocation, a pastor, and am in the process of completing my studies at Reformed Theological Seminary. We are hoping very soon for God to direct our steps to the church we've been set apart to serve and share our very lives with. I have a deep and earnest desire to see God's glory pursued faithfully, intentionally, and joyfully in all things - and to see the local church capture that vision corporately. Please, as you have the occasion, pray for us as we seek God's placement of our family in a local church whom I would have the privilege to serve in that task of shepherding the flock of God.
My doctrinal convictions are Reformed and Baptistic - I do prize the doctrines of grace as the most faithful distilling of biblical doctrine. Some of my primary theological and ministerial influences are Edwards, Spurgeon, and Piper and I enjoy reading a good deal. My family is precious to me and our time together is as well. I enjoy watching the Packers, Brewers, and Badgers. I like to cook and like the concept of woodwork and fixing things around the house, though it's more of a want-to than a regular hobby. I am a recipient of unfathomable mercy and grace, for while I was once dead in my sins and trespasses, the God whom I had offended by my whole life was pleased to make me alive together with Christ, whom He raised from a death that was suffered on my behalf, as my Substitute.
While my design in blogging is to be a part of what is the new cultural forum, I do not have a desire to be updating you on every in and out of my daily life. Words are important things - I do hope that what is presented here serves to promote godliness in you who may read it and serve the good of the church in the defense and promotion of sound doctrine and biblical exposition and a spurring on to love and good works among the people of God.
This is just an introduction to the basics of who I am - though I do hope that what is ultimately commended and displayed throughout the postings on this site is that which magnifies the glory of the Triune God. It is His glory that we who have been granted to turn from sin and trust in the Savior are oriented towards as our goal - and it is my hope that it will be the purpose of this site as well, whatever the content of posts should ultimately be.

To God Alone Be the Glory
-Chris